Tabitha Oyewole

Trust me, it’s not my plan to keep writing about anger like this, but somehow, it has become something I’m having to deal with lately, and writing is the only way I can get some answers or, at least, clear my mind.

I know I came here the other day talking about anger like I had it all figured out; apparently, I don’t. I thought I could avoid getting angry by reducing the power or access I give to people, and while that works sometimes, people still find a way to get to you. Now, I have questions on how to not get riled up when you are really pushed to the wall.

Right after I published the previous post, a lot of things happened that almost made me break every standard I had. Emphasis on “almost.” In just a few hours, I received threats, and my flatmate and I had to change apartments for our security. It was so crazy that I thought I would need a month off school and work to rest from the world. As much as I tried to avoid getting angry, I just kept getting pushed over and over again, and believe me, I still maintained a very calm composure. I wish I could tell you the full story so you can be really proud of me, but as much as I want to bare myself to you, I also have to be very discreet.

The crux of this story is that even if you reduce the power or access you give to people, they will still step in your face and try to get you angry. What do you do in situations like this? I think what worked for me was:

1. Staying quiet: Despite the urge you may have to say your own piece or try to hurt the other party through words, you should really just stay quiet.
2. Walking away: When you walk away from ugly situations, it doesn’t mean you are a coward or that you don’t know how to defend yourself physically or orally; it just means you are smart enough to know that violence never solves anything.

Here’s to staying out of trouble and taking charge of your emotions!